Thanks but its an old jacket

         

                              

Do you ever stand in front of a mirror just to admire your good features? Spending a minute or two telling your reflection how great you are and how good you look? Most of us don't. Once we are ready to leave the house we only look at the mirror to make sure we don't have any toothpaste on our face or that our clothes aren't wrinkled.

                                                    Checking yourself out is not a crime.

Yet once we are out in the world we take time admiring how other people are well dressed or have drawn their eyebrows really well. All this does is to drain us of our joy and self-worth. It’s key to reflect and weed out any vices that work against us. Let’s look at the usual culprits.

How you react to compliments

When a person has a confidence issue then their default setting is to dilute any positive words said about them. You have probably at one point told someone that you liked their outfit and they acknowledged your kind words but watered them down. They deflect because what you are saying doesn't match the view they have of themselves. Compliments are a great ego boost. How effective and long lasting that boost is depends entirely on us. We can choose to either shrug it off as someone being nice or we can internalize it and let it instill a positive perception of ourselves. 

Shyness

We all know at least one shy person. That person might even be you. The basis of shyness is doubt; not being good enough as the next person. The way to overcome this is by singling out what you are good at and choosing to keep your eyes glued on it.

"I'm so shy, I wear sunglasses everywhere I go" - Al Pacino

Down playing achievements

Humility is admirable but overdoing it costs you more than you realise. While pride is a brother to arrogance, and is nothing to seek, you need to have an element of pride. This will give you the boldness to talk about yourself and your accolades boldly.  With that said, we undo all of that through learning to compliment ourselves. Before we step out into the world we must first have said something positive to ourselves. Try this, in the morning before leaving the house stand in front of the mirror not just to make sure that you are presentable but also literally tell yourself that you look good. When doing it at first it will feel strange as talking to you in an audible voice is something you have probably not done much of.

There is a fine line between being arrogant and being bold. So next time someone says "That's a nice jacket” be sure to say "Thanks, it's one of my favourites".