What if I
told you that there are two versions of you? There is the 'you' that the world
sees and the 'you' that you see. This is because the way we view ourselves
differs from the way other people see us. We either see ourselves based on our
skills, strengths and talents or from a view point based on our doubts,
weaknesses and fears.
You likely know someone that is talented in a certain area and
everyone can see it except the person. They will usually undermine their work
or point to someone better than them. Their view of themselves is negative and
their speech tends to be in a debasing tone. Put in another way, they have a
negative self-image.
What is a self-image?
Self-image is essentially how you view and describe yourself. It
is the foundation of your external image; your personal brand. You can't
portray something to the outside world that you don't first see in yourself.
Put inversely, our personal brands stem from what we think of ourselves. It is
hard to dress in a way that doesn’t match your level of confidence and
self-worth, the first step to building a personal brand is alignment to
‘the self’.
What goes into your self-image?
Our environment is a key factor that influences how we view
ourselves. If you grew up in a place of poverty, it's easy to associate
yourself as someone worth growing up in such an area. For you to be raised in a
household that struggles and then grow up to live a well off life takes a
positive self-image. The world is filled with examples of millionaires that
grew up in tough times, with parents that barely had enough money to meet their
needs. These are people that decided that they are capable of creating wealth;
they saw themselves as having potential despite their environment.
Another factor is what you are told by those around you growing
up. This can be people your age or those older than you. People can say words
that either build you up or make you insecure. What often happens is that over
time we accept what is continuously said about us.
A third element is the way we talk to ourselves; it is a result of
both the environment that we were raised in and the people around us. We either
constantly beat ourselves up or encourage ourselves. A key point is
appreciating the difference between failing to achieve something and being a
failure, one is an act whereas the other is a trait. Therefore, we need to be
aware of and manage what we way talk to ourselves about...ourselves.
How do you fix your self-image?
You start by recognizing what your current self-image is. A great
way to do this is to sit down and write all the negative things you think of
about yourself, along with all your doubts. Then dissect the root of each one
of these, trace them back to where they started. These likely exist due to past
failures, others people's experience or what you grew up being told by those
around you.
Sieve out all that is baseless and you will start to see your
reflection a bit clearer.
